" but im dummer without u.
i fought drugs.
im alive.
but overall..
ur the worst,
most addictive,
drug i ever had... "

-Him

My dreams are crushed. But memories wont fade away, that i can promise.

Its okay, im okay as long as i can still stand over here, and watch you from far.

Im gonna be okay someday. It just needs time.

When almost everyone around me told me to move on, i just feel like killing all of em' for not understanding my feelings.

But when i think back, i cant let him step on my head. I gotta think for my own self now. Ive been spending almost a year thinking about him. Sometimes, we just dont know what we got until its gone.

And thats life.

I believe everyone deserves a second chance. Like me. Im trying to prove something that is impossible to you.

I cant explain anything anymore. Cause ive tried my hardest. I know i did.

Im sorry that it had to be this way. I know its not enough to say im sorry. Maybe im the one to blame.

When i look back, everything that ive been through, is everything about you.

No seriously, i was really hoping. This is the biggest, heaviest hope ive ever had on a guy. Its true.

Maybe sometimes, letting go is the solution. But i still cant do this. Its hard. Harder than you thought it is.

Now i know, how big is the word ' move on ' & ' let go '

Cause i am having these feelings now. I just wish i could skip this part of life. For not being hurt.

I am hurt. Being hurt is the most unwanted things in this whole wide world. Yes it is.

Im tryna look at the brightside of being hurt. Well, being hurt will make me a better person in future. Being hurt will teach me not to repeat the same mistake. Being hurt also will teach me to be strong and keep moving forward.

I wish i could read your mind. I wanna know how exactly you feel when this happened to you. Were you as hurt as i am right now ? Things are really really bad right now.

And i can hardly think what else to do. Im so lost. I wish i could make things right.

Time will heal me. One day i'll move on and never look back again. Cause having all these kinds of feelings suck.

I dont wanna go through this again. I really dont. Its too much. Too heavy for me.

" But i know it now
i wish i would've known before
how good we were
or is it too late to come back
or is it's really over ? "

So, before you go, i should probably let you know that i never knew what i had.

Its hard.

xx