2009 to 2010

i dont wanna let go 2009, im serious.

i wanna stay here, i wanna stay young.

i guess im quite scared to start 2010.

yes, a bit.

to my dear 2009, i will always be missing you, remembering you.

look what time has made me.

there are lots of memories in 2009. trust me when i say A LOT

i love the feeling in 2009.

well, sad things happened, but thats just how life is.

regretted doing this, that, and this.

t0 my future 2010,

please, pleaseeee dont make me hate you. or just dont make me go emooooo all the way again yeah ?

i would love to start something new, but im just not ready.

OHH ! and Tania Zainudin's and my birthday are comingggg ! hello January, here we come!

im gonna look at 2009's pictures, and cry kay.

so sad can dieee

i wish you would love me, Mystery Guy

keep me safe while i sleep, please

my heart is calling for you, cant you see that ?

roses are red

violets are blue

theres only one to say

this and that's

i love you

today was quite tiring, i went One Utama. shopping, DUH. what else.

i went there with Lily and Erin. AGAIN. hahaha

well, we planned to watch Sherlock Holmes. but then, got no seats already.

so we bought Alvin & The Chipmunks tickets. its showing around 3. we were there around 11.

so we walk around and find myself some clothes and something to wear on my head

went to few boutiques, then i decided to play foosball. we went up to the GSC level.

and boooom, we played. so freaking fun turning that thing, pushing and pulling. i swear to god, i cant control myself with foosball. dont blame me.

then, at the counter, we wanted to buy the tokens, and me and Lily accidentally saw a cute, hot guy. he was in green. we seriously couldnt take our eyes of him. he was like looking at our place. i mean the foosball place. :p

so we walked around for a little while, then went into the cinema.

Alvin & The Chipmunks were seriously freaing ADORABLE AND CUTE K !!

how i wish they exists haah (';

so after the movie, we went waffle world, zara and some other places.

around 8 ke 9 my mom came.

i got what i want. dayemn i love it ((((:

ohh did i mention ? my mystery guy called me when i was in the cinema ?

do you know how does it feels like when someone you like calls you ?!

i didnt recognize his number at first, cause i deleted his number just to forget him.

-__-'

i had fun, lots of fun with Lily and Erin in the pool yesterday. i couldnt describe how. but really, they totally made my day. i love them. we were bored sitting down, talking in the pool, all of sudden, we talked about gigs. and we started to talk about how people mosh. and we started to mosh in the pool macam gilarzzzz.

wowzerzzz, we wrock! i mean rock.

cam whore, this and that. fought in the shower. laughed like a bunch of drunk gangsterzz.

what else ?

thanks to the both of you who made my day.

me lovez youz guyz foreverz. i pwomize !

i knew it, everytime, when i laugh so hard.

i can bet, something sad would happen next.

and yes, i found something, very sadd. i was so pissed, and felt like ....

i pulled my hair, and asked myself, ' what the hell is happening FA ?! '

great, if you dont understand, just dont read. safety first. takut nanti hang pening.

i quickly off, and ran upstairs, took my dad's blackberry and take few pictures of myself just to calm myself down.

offed the red light, boom, cried on the bed, and slept.

fun. yes very fun. uh.

i dont think i'll be out during the new year's countdown. supposedly pegi The Curve, its planned.

but i think i'll just stay at home with family. countdown bersama familiezzzz.

its hard when you found yourself looking in the outside.

im hurt and broken. dead and sad.

whats happening ?

why is this happening now ?

why now ?!

i dont wanna hope.

my

left

foot

is

bleeding

so

scary

what did i hit ? :o

hello, i think i have an imaginary friend since i dont think i have any best friend (((;

ive got nothing much to say actually.

um, well yesterday evening, when i was on the way to Tahlil with my mom and dad, an accident happened. haha. stewpidddd woman lah. but thank god, all of us are foine.

this is my third time involved in an accident. oh well. haha rockstar.

so yesterday's Tahlil was the last Tahlil for Uncle Faris Ismael.

alhamdulillah.

what day is today ? sunday ?

right, going to The Curve with my mom later.

and tomorrow, i have cheer meeting around 10 am.

after that, might be going to Erin's house with Lily.

Lily wanted to play electric guitar so so badly. ahaha.

so im gonna accompany her there tomorrow. dont know

but Erin's atuk and moyang are home, soooo, its kind of rude to play electric guitar with some oldies at home kan ?

now im feeling really really really lonely. how sad.

seriously, i want somebody here ! yes, here !

and anytime now ):

guess who's that dude one your right

its 3.54am and im still awake

and im bored. and i need someone to talk to me.

and i just feel like crying. bcause there's no one to talk to.

pfft, lifeless fafa. huh ?

no ! not lifeless. im just so .. bored.

cant sleep,

so sad can die. }':

love's not easy ?

You've got me smilling in my sleep (:

i guess im in love

with him

i couldnt get him out of my mind

keep thinking and thinking about him all day long

i tried to stop this feeling

but i just cant

but i tried

ive been thinking too much whether its gonna work or not

its 2.32am. and im still awake.

trying to stop hoping and hoping

i've long way to go. i shall remind myself everytime

but i think, im in love. no, na-ah, not again.

i trust you, trust you to fix this broken heart

its shattered in pieces

and i know, it can surely get better, if you could help me.

i wanna walk away, stay away from you,

but it hurts. no, no, it doesnt really hurt

but im just so scared of losing someone precious/amazing like you.

yes you.

no, im not crapping. im telling the truth

tell me that you wont leave.

stay here, calm me.

be there for me.

it could be a bit too early. and im sorry.

but i guess im starting to love you.

(:

or am i just "craving" for a boyfriend's love ?

na-ah, not true not true.

i think i really like A** A***** N***** hehehe

?

' i see it coming. but i didnt wanna think about it,

my dad was so sick. and when i heard the beep, i closed my ears. i didnt wanna hear that, i closed my eyes, i didnt wanna see. so i ran outside. and hoping when i got back in the ward, to see that the beep was a mistake. some disconnected or something. but it wasnt. my dad passed away. i dont know what to do '

- ayesha halima

well, ayesha halima is my cousin .. um .. distance cousin.

and yet, we're so close. i love her alot. just like a sister. even people all around us keep on saying we look alike.

she's the only child of Aunty Shim and arwah Uncle Faris Ismail.

arwah had cancer.

and now, her only dad is no longer with her. Allah loves him.

he's gone. and now left only herself and her mom.

i swear to god, i really love their family.

their family are so kind, loved by everyone.

i know how it feels like losing a dad. especially when you're really really really close to him.

insya-Allah, his soul will be blessed. many people dreamed about arwah before he left.

even my third sister did. he was in white.

time flies so fast

al-fatihah.

rock climbing !

HELLZ YEAHZ ! ROCK CLIMBING, IS REALLY FUN !
but a bit scary heeheee



hoo yeah. im feelin so damn happy and exicted now. i loike feeling this way. so healthy
right, so i went rock climbing with my beloved Best Friend, Lily Alyssa around 2 pm.
she dragged along a friend, named Saiful.
heheheh, that dude, the one who guide-ed us, are h-h-h-hawt okay.
his name is Afif ;D
see ! i told you, i keep on bumping onto hot dudes nowdays. heeeee
forget about that, haha

so anyways, hell yeah motherly freakingly damnly fun !
it wasnt that gayat. but instead, so tiring.
next, im gonna go rock climbing again with Lily, and Adi Niezam (:

after rock climbing, we went diva, starbucks, karokae, dorothy perkins, forever 21 ( its a must )
and more and more and more.
and, Lily, thank you so so so much for the gift ! gosh, you told me you're buying it for your friend, but turns out to be meeeeee ((((": awwwwwwwwww, she was like, ' i know you want that thing, cause you've been looking at it. hehe '
it costs rm55, awwww sweet huh? thanks Lilyyyy

lily made my dayyyyyy <3


avioss people [;

the beginning

i see hot dudes everywhere nowdays.
god is really helping me out. haha

alright, so yesterday i called Muntazar, he sounds good.
i miss him so much. he's the only ex who is older than others. haha, turning 18 on january 27th [;
the one who has never fight with me, even when were a couple.
i must say, he's one of a kind. and i think, our relationship are only good to be good friends
he's one funny guy i tell you. there's so much to say about him.

the first thing i think about is

i miss this Guy so much <3

anyways, im back from Singapore (:

i didnt really shop, but i went to Orchard Road. i tell you, there's TWO freaking LOUIS VUITTON OKAY !?!?!! tunggu lah aku banyak duit, aku rembat dua dua Louis Vuitton.

haha, there's Forever 21, Zara, D&G, Prada, and more. i went to Sentosa Island, saw the big big Merlion, walked at the beach. then went to Night Safari, god so cooool. the Singapore Flyer ( like eye on Malaysia ) . yada yada.

right, then last night, i went to Moshmallow Gig, sadly, not many people came. But still, the bands rock ! Qallif, Andy and Shakir was there.

after the gig, i went to Kak Raja's house, my sister had to take her stuffs.

i saw Alyf haha. and the kittens ! gosh, there are four of them, 2 males, 2 females. so the fweakin cute !!

so, Tania invited me to the TTDI prom night. but its kind of a last minute thing, so i dont think i could go. need to find a dress lagi, go do hair lagi. no time ): im so sorry babe.

hokayh, will be going to One Utama on Tuesday for a Rock Climbing with my Miss Lily Alyssa haha (:

then, will be going to Penang on 23rd sighs. im tired of travelling. seriously. -____-'

my butt doesnt wanna sit in the Naza seat anymore. god, help.

cant wait cant wait !

OH AND, NOT FAIR ! I MISSED THE SLEEPOVER because of spore ! ):

taniaaaaa, im sorrrrryyyyy.

alright people, thanks for reading !

h-h-hi again


im bored. help me.
I AM BORED HELP ME ! you can say im lifeless now, cause i think i am, for NOW
im going Singapore tomorrow morning, weeee, gonna drop by at Johor to visit a family member
then of to Singapore. but sadly, wont be long there.
daddy got work to do ))))': so sad haihhh
i cant wait for Moshmallow Gig, which is held on the same date as the Spade party
hoping to see everyone that ive been missing at the Moshmallow Gig
well i heard Qallif's coming, god, i miss that shorty, and his voice that sounds like Donald Duck
so cuteeeeeeeee aahaaha i didnt mean it in a bad way ookaay
school's opening SOON * screams
study moments are coming back, im ready to face 2010, but not happy leaving 2009 behind )';
HOW SAD, so manyyyyyy exciting moments ya know.
like, Cheerleading Competition 2009 that ive participated in, AAR Concert, Sunway Lagoon with Tania, Dini, Mel, Arissa, Mars, Azrie & Azir, Cheer practices, First Year in Secondary School/ Highschool, Boyfriend, New Moon,
There's just s many mannn. hoping 2010 would be better since im covering my hair soon ( ;




oh, by the way, Melanie & Jowynna are organising a party, some sort of pool party i guess.

The Sweet Escape

Date: 2nd January 2010

Venue: Bandar Sri Damansara club, 2nd level pool (pool side party)

Time: 7pm-12am

ADMISSION:

Early birds

RM 25 per person

RM40 per couple [boy & girl only]

Pay on event date

RM 30 per person

RM 50 per couple [boy & girl only]

Performers - RM10 per person

Dress code: Semi formal

*Drinks will be provided :)

for more, visit : http://thesweetescape2010.blogspot.com/

hello hi


two days ago, i went dinner with family. its been a while since we last had dinner together gether.
had a night walk at Desa Parckcity .. wanted to ride the swing, but there were too many humans
grrr. so where am i going next ?
holysh*t, school's opening soon, time flies so fast huh.


im still wondering why you called me last 2 nights. and asked me to call you back.

hello, im feeling sick

this is what i get

it feels like i have blood all over my body, my face, god is it that bad ? why ?
i loved you along time ago, and i've never stopped
i guess i only realized a good thing when its gone, but why ?
it kills me, please dont hurt me
forgive me for everything, but people change, and I DID NOT DUMPED YOU !
why must people think that way ?


last night was the bestest conversation ive ever had with you so far, i mean since we broke up, we've never laugh together after that, never. you hated me dnt you ?
you brought back all the memories last night
you lied, you said you've forgotten them all,
but the truth is, you didnt

' sayang, cantik tak my converse ? '

' yeaaah, cantik. i like it '

' okay, you can put me down now '

' no, i wont '

' ah, pleaseee, i dont want people to see us like this '

blablabla

' yes, i love you '

' i love you too '

he hugged me, kissed my forehead grabbed my hands and walk

i couldnt tell how much i miss you and stuffs

i couldnt tell how much i want you, i'll love you better

i know i did very bad before, but give it a try hun

i cant stand it, it hurts too much,

help me, cure my heart

i know how much it hurts when you were chasing me and i didnt say a thing at all

i know, i totally understand

forgive me,

( a random question )

What do you really want to have now ?

i asnwered, him and his love, that's enough. i must say more than enough

my heart, is missing you

he's finally in Dubai and im missing him a lot
im glad that he texted me, and he called me two nights ago ! ((':



i just realized how good looking my best friend is heheh (:

Hayat told me he's coming back on 26th :O honestly, i dont know who to call & text. since you're not around. you used to text and call me everynight. i admit, i love it. i love the way you care about me, and the way you ask me ' whats wrong dear ? tell me ' . god, stop me from remembering what he used to do, i can cry (';

when i've repent

so before i start doing the survey,
i would like to wish Amad Syifaq,
Happy 15th Birtday Amad ! have fuunnnn !



Are you nervous ?
for what la

What is your mission ?
to success in future

3 things near you
pencil, stool, mug

Last time you went to the shopping mall ?
few days back

Were you single on your last birthday ?
ahaa, yeah

Last message from ?
Syusyu

Can you drive a car ?
not yet

Last time you ride your bike ?
i dont have a bike

Like someone but they don't know your feeling towards them ?
neah

Any satisfaction ?
yeah

Do you still watch cartoons ?
haha, yes

Have you ever try to cut yourself ?
yeah, so stupid

Describe your feelings about tomorrow ?
um, happy ?

Last person you kiss?
i forgot

Have you ever lied ?
im sure everyone lied before my dear (:

Who was the last person you called ?
My dad

Whats the last word/text that he/she said ?
' tomorrow 10am - 1pm ' from syusyu

Are you afraid right now ?
no, why should i be ?

What is your biggest regret ?
for being Nabil's ex, and im so stupid for still being there for him after that, he used me, fck ! ( quite direct huh ? )

How about your biggest secret ?
its a secret

Does anyone know about your secret ?
which secret ?

Where is your mother ?
she went out

Where is your father?
singaporeeee

Are you lovable ?
yes i am

What do you think ?
about what ?

What kind a person are you ?
i hate waiting, but im cool haha

What time should you go for breakfast tomorrow ?
depends on what time i'm awake

Which one is better ? Strawberry or Raspberry ?
strawberry

Ever regreted watching a movie(s) at the cinema ?
haha, yeah, ' The orphanage ' freaing scary, thank god i didnt die

Miss someone ?
ADI NIEZAM yo -.-

Have you ever been far away from your family ?
yeah

What if zac efron asked for a date to your bestfriend ?
uh, okay. i dont mind cause im not a big fan of zac efron

Are you pregnant ?
i think so haha

Can you act ?
you think ?

Do you believe in miracle?
yes, no. no, yes, yes no wait, i dont know

When do you want die ?
when ive repent

should i listen to my heart,

or thousands of people's advice ?

its beating

yes, i have a heart just like you
and i could take care of your feelings very well, if you could take care of mine

and i could take away your heart if you could take mine away

and i could love you if you love me too

and i couldnt care less if you've always care about me

and i would do anything for you, if you would do anything for me too

and i could hurt you more than ever, if you hurt me

and you've really changed

and that doesnt make any better

and dont you think i want you to go,

and i dont want you to change,

please, dont change

why are you being a jerk now ?

and please, stop, stop hurting me and my heart, and my feelings

i couldnt stand it, it hurts deep inside

what a good start

alright, i woke up at 8.44 today, i have no diea why am i waking up so early these days
its weiirrddd, so anyway
i went for the cheer practice, i met the two new Coaches
Chee Way & Joon Kang, they were okay (:
i based just now, finally, its been like since July i havent base
i missed it so much and i did Elevator, Elevator Extension, Liberty, yeah, thats all i guess
but sadly, its not cnfirmed yet if im joining next year, damn ):

so right after cheer, we (syusyu and i) walked down to Safa and eat
after finished eating, we (syusyu and i) walked back to the field and we waited for her brother to come and pick us up
now here i am, sitting in front of the cocmputer agan and again
what a life la -_-' haha so bored, can dieeeeee
i just need someone to text with

so, avios bloggie ! catch you soon

ha-ha player wannabe

eiii, fark you laa dei.
you're such a faggot laaa, got no balls is it ?
kikis duit perempuan pulak tu,
tolong sikit, dont ever think that i'l be your ' spare tyre '
i'll never be. thank god la i didnt fell into your trap
eehh, go find a life la, i pity you, seriously
you think you're sooooo handsome ? well DREAM ON, you'll never be
looks like you're just fooling yourself mannn
just stop doing whatever you're trying to do
dont try to be a player, cause you're better off yourself
i think i should stop now.


im so so so angry, and mad, and sad
ughh
i need someone to talk to, Ariff has been always there for me
but he's no longer here, he's in Dubai ):


p/s : Mia Mazlan, thanks for talking to me (':

miss me ?

hello bloggers !

sorry for not updating for quite a long time

many things happened

i couldnt pick what to story

had fun with lily & carey at One Utama, watched new moon with lily,

hanged out with the clan, BSD carnival, shopping with mother,

new hamster, new life,

ahh, there's just so many

i really really really miss my blog

and im still so sleepy even its already 12.00 pm

yaaalaahh, yesterday, i woke up at 8, went to BSD carnival, stayed there until 4, then went back home, went to One Utama, got back home at 10.00pm

so tired

my leg hurts like crap okayh

perhaps going for the legs massage later

and now im so freaking confused with Ariff

he's moving, to Dubai TODAY

for 3 freakin' years without coming back home to Malyasia

and starting from tonight, no one will ALWAYS be textin me everynight

will be calling me every time when i needed someone to talk to,

no more his pictures, no more fighting, no more teasing,

there wont be anyone who will be playing guitar & piano for me,

sing songs for me, wake me in the very early morning,

take care of me, and love meevery time when i need extra love

( whatever that means )

i hope you recieve the card that i made for you,

just so you know, i really appriciate your appearance

and time that you've spend for me

you've been a really great, best friend to me

i love you

always&forever

(: