I guess Im still that Fafa.

Sitting in an empty room
Trying to forget the past
This was never meant to last
I wish it wasn't so... - Linkin Park

I wonder how is this going to end. I wonder how its gonna be when i have moved on.

These scars that you cant see are the ones that are the hardest to heal. I just wish you could be here right next to me when im at my worst. You were always there for me to lean on. You were the one that always stays on the phone with me till sunrise. You were the one who can make me smile when im madly angry. I looked back and i just saw, how patient you were with me.

You loved me with all your heart. You gave me everything i need. And i was being a selfish jerk, that only accepts everything and dont know how to appreciate things you gave.

I hope its not too late for me to cure the cuts in your heart. I wanna make sure you're okay. I'd do anything to make you happy. I want you back to normal. I miss you so much. And the fact that i cant get you out of my head, hurts 10 times more than falling off from a building. I dont know how to explain my feelings for you.

I wanna be your Fafa again. And this time, i'll be different than i was. I dont wanna repeat the same goddamn thing i did that made me regret this much.

Ive been dreaming about what we gonna do when we both get back together. Ive been dreaming. Yes i have.

I dont wanna dream or wish anymore. I just wanna be with you. I love you.

Im sorry that things are like this. I miss everything so much. And it hurts so bad.

I wanna call you Gay again. I wanna be in your arms again. I wanna make this right. And i promise you, i will.

I just need you to trust me.

You're different than other guys that ive ever met. You know why ?

Cause you dont sulk as much as they do. Cause you'll call me when you say you will. Cause you respect me. Cause you dont scream to me. Cause you never make me cry. Cause you're always there when i needed you.

Cause you never gave up on me. Cause you never fail to make me laugh over your stupid jokes. Cause you're being your total self around me. Cause you dont pretend and you tell me the truth everytime. Cause you know what exactly to say when i have tears on my face. Cause you sing like nobody's business.

Cause you love me for who i am. Cause you're my everything.

I'd walk with you through the night.

Ive been trying to let you go every single day. But i just cant. I need someone's help.

xx